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Legal Disclaimer

By accessing St.SomeWhere, you acknowledge  nothing on this website should be taken seriously, including this disclaimer. Any advice, wisdom, or life-altering revelations found here should be cross-referenced with your personal oracle, a well-traveled parrot, or the fortune cookie from your last takeout meal.

St.SomeWhere disclaims all responsibility for:

  • Sudden urges to quit your job and become a wandering poet.

  • Accidental teleportation to alternate realities.

  • Uncontrollable fits of laughter in public places.

  • The development of an inexplicable fondness for pirate jargon.

 

This website is provided “as is,” with no warranty, guarantee, or promise of coherent thought. Any reliance on the information here is purely at your own risk, and we highly recommend consulting a wise old tortoise before making any major life decisions.

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For further legal matters, kindly direct all concerns to your local friendly neighborhood wizard or nearest available mermaid counsel. Thank you for embracing the nonsense!

Terms and Conditions

Terms and Conditions of St.SomeWhere Absurdity

Effective Date: Since the First Coconut Fell from a Tree

Welcome to the bewildering and whimsical terms of use for St.SomeWhere! By continuing to read, you agree to everything written, everything unwritten, and all things that may or may not exist in alternate dimensions.

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1. Acceptance of Terms

By merely existing in proximity to this website, you have unknowingly agreed to these terms. If you object, please mail us a handwritten note via carrier pigeon (dressed in proper business attire) and expect a reply in the form of interpretive dance.

2. Eligibility

Only time-traveling pirates, caffeine-powered lifeforms, and multilingual parrots may fully engage with this website. If you are neither, you may petition the Council of the Elders of Somewhere for an exception.

3. User Responsibilities

  • You must wear a stylish hat while reading this page.

  • Any laughter caused by these terms must be reported to the nearest cloud for safekeeping.

  • If you find a typo, you must name it Steve and nurture it as one of your own.

4. Intellectual Property

Any thoughts, musings, or daydreams you have while on this site now belong to St.SomeWhere, to be bottled and sold as rare collectibles at our next flea market.

5. Limitation of Liability

  • We are not responsible for misplaced socks, forgotten passwords, or existential crises caused by reading these terms.

  • If you suddenly feel the urge to adopt a pet llama, you assume all responsibility.

  • Any attempt to comprehend these terms in their entirety may result in spontaneous enlightenment or mild confusion.

6. Payment

  • You owe us one (1) joke, a heartfelt haiku, and a postcard from your last imaginary vacation.

  • Failure to pay will result in your dreams being gently rewritten to include unexpected plot twists.

  • Bonus points if your joke makes a grumpy cat smile.

7. Privacy Policy

We know where you left your keys, but we promise not to tell.

8. Termination

  • If you stop believing in St.SomeWhere, it may cease to exist in your reality.

  • If you attempt to delete these terms from your memory, you will be required to write an essay on the history of pirate limericks.

9. Governing Law

These terms are governed by the unwritten rules of the open sea, the ancient texts of hammock philosophy, and the gentle hum of an ocean breeze at sunset.

10. Amendments

We may update these terms at any moment, usually after a strong cup of coffee or a few neat fingers of Black Sea Shines GBR17. If you disagree, please submit your concerns to someone that gives a shit, not me.

By continuing to navigate life, you hereby acknowledge and accept these terms. For further inquiries, please consult the nearest wandering bard or telepathic coconut.

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